About Closer to Love Book:
I have never been in a romantic relationship but have read a lot about romance and love in books. My friends who were/are in a relationship used to share with me how they feel and what kind of problems they face in a relationship. And after all of it, I believed that relationships are complex and a 24/7 job where you have to perform your best. However, Vex’s new book, Closer to Love; How to Attract The Right Relationships And Deepen Your Connections is here to help us build happier relationships that feel like magic.
Here is what love means in Vex’s words from Closer to Love:
LOVE. It’s like an eternal light that never goes out, an expansive ocean without end, a blue sky that stretches endlessly on the horizon. It’s an energy that is always present; an infinite, universal law. Even the lack of love highlights the fact that exists on the other side of the coin.
Now, if you want to attract this kind of love, I am here to convey the 3 best lessons I learned from Closer to Love that will help even singles like me. Ready?
Closer to Love Book Summary:
1. The Ignored Soul of Yours:
There are so many people like me who watch a good romantic movie or see couples posting cute-hot pictures on social media and we start wishing for the same. We think if someone could love us so deeply, our life will change.
However, what we don’t realize is that, the more we wish for people to love us, the more we tell our brains that WE ARE LONELY AND MISERABLE. We have trained ourselves to ignore our own souls and find someone in the external world to complete us.
In Closer to Love book, Vex King says that “the love you experience with others will be a direct reflection of the love you share with yourself.”
If you have a habit of ignoring yourself and not giving yourself enough love, no relationship can fulfill your soul, and no person, no matter how perfect, can make you feel loved.
Closer to Love book starts with this one lesson that I think is the root of building stronger relationships which is, Love yourself the same way you want others to love you. Give yourself enough attention so you don’t seek a relationship for someone else’s attention. And take good care of yourself so that the journey with someone else is smoother. Because, as Vex King says,
I will move forward after quoting it again from the Closer to Love book, “How can you share your life with someone else if you are disconnected from yourself? How can you establish closeness if you are emotionally distant from your own emotions? The truth is, it is virtually impossible to build a healthy relationship with another person if you haven’t built one with yourself first.”
2. You Are Not Here to Settle or Compromise:
I was in college when one of my friends came into a relationship that ended up tearing her apart. When she started talking to his new boyfriend, I warned her that he is not the right guy but she said, ‘you don’t understand. He gets angry sometimes but he can be a good human.”
And I was stunned by her response. Because guess what? All these web series and books have filled our minds that we can fix people and we can heal them. And we should see people as who they can be rather than who they are.
Perhaps, this is the reason why good people end up with bad ones. I am not saying that you shouldn’t help your partner become a good person. Of course, you should. But you shouldn’t compromise with the bare minimum. You should see people as who they are, and pay attention to their actions rather than words.
Ask yourself these questions:
- what you want in your partner,
- what are you ready to give
- How much can you compromise
- What are the things that cannot tolerate (like abuse and constant insults that comes as humor)
- What do you deserve and what do you think the other person deserves from you
The whole point is, if you compromise once, you will play the role of a sweet little person who suffers the most in a relationship. Hence, be sure of what you deserve and never settle for less even if that means staying single for a while or leaving a toxic relationship.
3. Friendship is First & Vulnerability is Priority:
They say, there is peace in friendship. And I completely agree with that. When you meet a new person, you have to pretend to be good, and jocular. You have to do everything in a way that conveys you have manners and you are educated.
However, when you are around your friend, you can be YOU without trying to appear cute or attractive. You can laugh loudly and make jokes. You can say things that you truly believe in. Right?
And that’s why, Vex King says in Closer to Love that before building a relationship, build a friendship with your partner so that you know who they truly are and if your vibes match or not.
Words can lie. Actions can be pretended. But the Vibes are true.
Besides, when two people are first friends, they can be more open with each other which brings vulnerability in a relationship. You wouldn’t have to think twice before sharing your true feelings. You can tell them anything without the fear of judgment or breakup. Because you know your partner aka your friend is your safe place.
So, find a person who is interested to be your friend as well as a partner. Someone who is ready to be vulnerable with you by talking about things that are usually not very pretty like any past trauma.
By concluding the Closer to Love book summary, I would say, Seek out someone who will hold your love in their hands like a precious gem. You deserve the best. You are a very complex person, but underneath all the layers, you just want to be loved, right? So, find someone who listens to you, sees you as who you are, finds you beautiful, makes you laugh, and make you feel important. And above all, even if your relationship is a little messy, make sure both of you take efforts for each other. Get yourself a copy of Closer to Love Book by Vex King.
You can check my blog on self-awareness here.